Caption Me, Please

The backstory:

My dogs eat crap they’re not supposed to eat. For a semi-complete listing, click here. Despite our best efforts to keep them away from things like thumbtacks and nail polish, we have a house full of teen girls plus an 11-year-old boy, and the only times our Puggles exhibit any kind of extreme intelligence is when they’re on a mission to eat something bad for them.

This means that sometimes they get chocolate.

Now, before you cart me off to the animal cops, know that these dogs, who can’t be counted upon to catch a piece of meat dropped directly over their heads, are capable of scaling seven feet of vertical wall, creating diversions, and opening zippers (despite their complete absence of thumbs) in order to get contraband that they’ve set their walnut-sized brains on. It’s not like we’re giving chocolate to them on purpose, or that we’re leaving it about the house willy-nilly; it’s that they’re ninjas.

A couple weeks ago Jack got some chocolate. Just part of a Hershey Bar. The doggie equivalent of an 8-ball. He commenced running about the house like he had some really urgent business to attend to and needed to tell us all about it. This went on for a while, and #4 took this picture.

It’s a crappy picture because she has a crappy, non-smart phone. Yes, I’m that parent. Get a job and when you’re 18 you can get your own cell phone contract, and THEN you can buy your own iPhone. Awesome, right?

But no matter how crappy the picture is, it never fails to render me speechless with laughter every time I look at it.

Enter your caption in the comments section below and I’ll pick a winner. The winner will receive something inexpensive but fabulous, most likely a chocolate bar. Probably something a little more exciting than a Hershey Bar, unless that’s your favorite. Contest open until 11:59pm on Thursday, October 31- Halloween!

Caption Contest Winner

Yeah, I know I said I’d post this on Friday. Life happened. It always does. Sunday is the new Friday anyway, haven’t you heard?

Anyway. A little over a week ago I asked you lovely folks to suggest your best caption for this picture:

I further sweetened the deal with the promise of your very own only slightly used DVD copy of Mega Shark Versus Giant Octopus, that incredible direct-to-DVD release starring Deborah “don’t call me Debbie when I’m acting” Gibson and Lorenzo Lamas. Yes, in the same movie!

I had a tough time picking a winner. But I did pick one, because I feel such a tremendous sense of obligation to pass this movie on.

Black Hole Under My Couch, for the first half of your comment (can I do that? I just did):

Casey: “Yeah, Yeah, of course I’m eighteen. . . *whispers* in dog years!”

Carl, I realize this sets me up for another round of your therapy bills for not picking your caption. If you have to call me down to FLA for Confrontation Day, can it be after the humidity dies down a little?

Here are some of the one I loved that didn’t win:

Grossly Pulchritudinous: It’s certainly no Pentapus, but I think we can make this work.

The Bad Hat Harry: Why don’t you put the camera down and join in? Leave it rolling.

Someone at my work on the dry erase board: Tastes like chicken!

Thanks to everyone who participated! You guys made me laugh.

Black Hole Under My Couch, drop me an email accidentalstepmom (at) g mail (dot) com and I will get your DVD out to you. If you actually watch the entire movie and review it, I’ll post it.

It’s the least I could do.

In an unrelated note, the Pentapus is now down to three legs, but we find the name sticking. Tri-pus does not have the same ring. However, if they manage to get the three remaining legs off I’m going to call it Tabletop Pentapus.

In closing, let’s talk about bad movies. Do you have a favorite? One of those movies that has no redeeming features whatsoever but you still can’t drag yourself away from it? Mine is Amazon Women on the Moon. It was supposed to be a spoof on bad movies but kind of turned out being one itself. I love that movie. What’s your favorite bad movie?

Photo Caption Contest

I wrote before about the puggles’ Pentapus.

We replaced it with a whole new Octopus, and in a short while, it too has become a Pentapus. One of its severed tentacles is floating around the house just like before. Apparently, this is the natural state of things.

In honor of the MegaPuggles’ triumph over the Giant Octopus, I have a special treat.

This picture needs a caption:

That’s one of those stuffingless foxes underneath the evil brown one. They love those too, but nothing really compares to being able to rip the innards out of your prey.

To see the innards ripped out of domesticated dog prey, check out this post by Kimberliah. It’s funny.

By the way, that scratched-up dilapidated piece of furniture they’re on used to be the pretty red leather ottoman that folds out into a cot that I bought when I was single and living alone in my awesome apartment in Hoboken. The cot part was functional, but not too comfortable. The ottoman was my favorite place to sit though. It was soft, the leather was smooth and beautiful. It was where I used to sit to meditate.

*sigh*

Okay, back to the contest. I am offering a fabulous prize to the winner: your very own (used once) DVD copy of Mega Shark Versus Giant Octopus. Can you believe it? Wow! This is. . . some movie.

Leave your captions in the comments section below. Contest is open through midnight EST, July 7, 2011 and I’ll pick a winner and announce Friday, July 8.