How we talk about movies

At dinner, Sunday night.

#3: Hey, have you ever seen a movie about a giant asteroid that’s going to hit the earth so like five people go on it to dismantle it?

Me: They go to dismantle a rock?

#3: No, I mean, um, like blow it up or something?

Me: While they’re standing on it?

#3: So that it doesn’t destroy the earth.

#2: You mean detonate?

#3: Whatever. I can’t think of the name of the movie. It starts with an a.

Me, #2, #4 and #5, in unison: Asteroid?

#3: No! It sounds kind of like armadillo, but it’s not.

Me: Oh. Armageddon.

#3: That’s it!

Me: No. I’ve never seen it.

#3: Oh.

#4: I just drooled on myself.

Ummm. . .

Sometimes the kids will say things that deeply resonate with me:

#5: I really want to climb the walls. Can I climb the walls?

I totally get that. Often, I want to climb the walls. So I let him. I should clarify that by “walls” he means “doorframe”, which has handy grabby bits around the edges, plus leverage, especially when you’re very bendy and lightweight and about four feet tall.  When he comes to me and says this I let him “climb the walls” three times. He usually does two right away and then saves one for later, unless one of his sisters grabs him and pulls him down in the middle of a climb because they want to get into the refrigerator or else just torment him because really, if they wanted to get into the refrigerator they could just go through the other doorway.

If you’re ever at my house and you notice dirty footprints on the top of the doorway into the kitchen, this is why.

Sometimes the kids will say things and it makes me wonder what goes on in their heads:

#5: (explaining his graphing math homework to me, which involved solving a problem and then plotting the answer number and its opposite on a line) I don’t like to think of them as opposites. I prefer to refer to them as evil twins.

Oh yeah, positive, negative. Evil twins would totally make math more interesting. I wish I’d thought of it.

Then sometimes they say things that make me glad I don’t know what goes on in their heads. Or in their private time, behind closed doors.

#5: Do you think dogs’ hands taste better than their feet, like ours do?

Ummm. . .

Zombie Ninja