Sometimes I hear myself say things and realize that, had my life taken a different path, I would never utter these words all together in the same sentence.
Last Sunday we took everyone to see the final Harry Potter movie at the theater at Willowbrook Mall. I had purchased the tickets earlier online, while not wearing my glasses, and there was a problem getting them at the theater. I had to go to guest services, where I heard myself say, “There’s a Willowbrook in Houston? As in Texas?”
For the record, Houston? All y’all’s movie tickets are cheap compared to New Jersey’s.
Here are a few things that CC and I said over the past couple weeks that I never dreamed would be necessary:
- Don’t lick your sister.
- Do not run with a glass in your mouth.
- Stop tasting the dogs.
- No, you can’t hide in the dryer.
- Actually, you’re not a ninja.
- Don’t lick your brother.
- I’m sorry the Tooth Fairy didn’t show up again. He was probably drunk.
- Get out of the dishwasher.
- Do NOT “pants” our guests. What if he’d been going commando?
- Yes, steak is muscle. What? No, you probably wouldn’t get a very big steak out of a baby.
- No, it’s not a problem that you spilled a coke in my purse.
- No, sweetie, I’m sorry. Your letter from Hogwarts still didn’t come.
What can you add to the list?