Caption Contest Winner

Yeah, I know I said I’d post this on Friday. Life happened. It always does. Sunday is the new Friday anyway, haven’t you heard?

Anyway. A little over a week ago I asked you lovely folks to suggest your best caption for this picture:

I further sweetened the deal with the promise of your very own only slightly used DVD copy of Mega Shark Versus Giant Octopus, that incredible direct-to-DVD release starring Deborah “don’t call me Debbie when I’m acting” Gibson and Lorenzo Lamas. Yes, in the same movie!

I had a tough time picking a winner. But I did pick one, because I feel such a tremendous sense of obligation to pass this movie on.

Black Hole Under My Couch, for the first half of your comment (can I do that? I just did):

Casey: “Yeah, Yeah, of course I’m eighteen. . . *whispers* in dog years!”

Yeah Yeah, of course I'm eighteen. . .*whispers* in dog years!

Carl, I realize this sets me up for another round of your therapy bills for not picking your caption. If you have to call me down to FLA for Confrontation Day, can it be after the humidity dies down a little?

Here are some of the one I loved that didn’t win:

Grossly Pulchritudinous: It’s certainly no Pentapus, but I think we can make this work.

The Bad Hat Harry: Why don’t you put the camera down and join in? Leave it rolling.

Someone at my work on the dry erase board: Tastes like chicken!

Thanks to everyone who participated! You guys made me laugh.

Black Hole Under My Couch, drop me an email accidentalstepmom (at) g mail (dot) com and I will get your DVD out to you. If you actually watch the entire movie and review it, I’ll post it.

It’s the least I could do.

In an unrelated note, the Pentapus is now down to three legs, but we find the name sticking. Tri-pus does not have the same ring. However, if they manage to get the three remaining legs off I’m going to call it Tabletop Pentapus.

In closing, let’s talk about bad movies.  Do you have a favorite? One of those movies that has no redeeming features whatsoever but you still can’t drag yourself away from it? Mine is Amazon Women on the Moon. It was supposed to be a spoof on bad movies but kind of turned out being one itself. I love that movie. What’s your favorite bad movie?

MegaPuggle VS. Giant Octopus

Behold, Giant Octopus:

Behold, Giant Octopus with his tasty, squeaky heart ripped out.

(Yes, those are my unmentionables drying on the lamp. I was going to edit them out until I remembered that I don’t have or know Photoshop, at which point I ate a cookie.)

He is also missing some legs.


I have no idea how this happened, but I suspect MegaPuggle.

Who thinks that the only thing better than taking down Giant Octopus is the severed leg that turned sad, heart-free Hexapus into sadder, still-heart-free-with-a-giant-hole-in-its-head Pentapus.

Mmmmm. Severed tentacle.

In case you missed it, you should check out this movie. Debra “don’t-call-me-Debbie-when-referring-to-my-acting ” Gibson and Lorenzo Lamas in the same movie. My friend Jeff actually got paid to work on this. Or else someone he knew got paid to work on it in the studio next to him while he was working on Borat. No, that was before. I can’t remember. I’d ask him but he’s expecting his first child any second. Unless you hate babies, check out this trailer. I promise it’s worth it.

$13 Salvation

My sub at work has been out of town for nearly two weeks. Normally that’s not a big deal. It means I do all the shows just like most stagehands have to do. But the week before he left was a brand new circle of hell for me.

It included a trip to the vet, major infractions committed by #5 and #3 that warranted well-thought-out responses (read: punishments), a trip  to the emergency room in an ambulance from school for #1 & dealing with the fallout from that, and an ice storm resulting in three solid inches of ice over everything, including my sloped driveway, in my town where everyone is sold out of ice melt and rock salt.

Then I got the flu.

Then I got bronchitis.

Then my sub went out of town.

Did I mention CC is in production on a new show? For the uninitiated, that means that if he does come home, he’s home for exactly six hours before he has to leave again, but more often he’s staying in the city. Yeah, like that. As #1-3 would say, FML.

I haven’t been this sick in four years, since the first summer we had the kids and I got bronchitis. Four weeks. Cough for six months. I am not making this up. That was also the time that #3, our resident drama queen and hypochondriac was complaining of a cough. I thought she was faking, or at least being dramatic. When I finally took her in to the doctor, she had pneumonia. I am not making that up, either. But that’s another post, and I digress.

Six pounds down. Five prescriptions. Two bags of cough drops. I slept every possible moment because each morning I had to get up with the kids to get them to school and each night I had to go into the city and do my show, and mostly I just wanted to die. I’m honestly not sure what they ate. Or wore.

All this led up to Saturday night, aka The Day My Sub Came Back. I took Saturday night’s show off.

I was feeling much better and decided to wait for CC to finish tech at midnight and went to see a movie. By myself. How amazingly awesome is that? I can’t adequately express it. I saw The King’s Speech on 42nd street and paid $13 for my ticket, which seemed like kind of a lot. I got a small popcorn, a bottle of water, and a bag of sour patch kids, none of which I had to share, or buy ahead of time and smuggle inside in a large handbag.

It was the first movie I’ve seen since we got the kids that did not contain a single talking animal, light saber, vampire, or wizard. By that virtue alone, I feel it should sweep the Oscars.

Seriously, a really great flick. I highly recommend it. Don’t get used to me talking about movies on here. It’s a rarity.