Marked For Death

Between Irene and Sandy, we had Snowtober. Halloween 2011. A not insignificant portion of a tree that technically belongs to the county but hugs my property line cracked down and blocked the street for a few days.

The people we bought the house from had been trying to get the county to take it down for years. The neighbors also, particularly the guy whose house it was leaning towards.

Being that my county is large and includes Newark (which I affectionately refer to as the hole of the ass), the county was unimpressed. And unresponsive.

Until halfway through January 2013.

Hot damn and Hallelujah!

I’ve never been so happy to see something die.

Before I get any hate comments from tree-huggers, let me just say that I WILL approve comments that call me out as hating the environment IF AND ONLY IF you have had three or more trees land on your house in a six month period as I had here, and here.

I watched the whole thing go down in thirty minutes. Had they not been blocking my driveway I would have pulled #5 out of school to see it, it was so fricking cool.


What you can’t see in this shot is the additional twenty feet of tree that hangs over the road.


You’re going down, tree!


That would be the bit you couldn’t see in the first shot.


DSCF6888Had we been thinking, we would have marked the giant dead pine tree with a red X too.

Click here if you want to see more pictures of the tree’s demise on Flickr.


11 thoughts on “Marked For Death

  1. I have a massive tree that is in my neighbor’s yard and hangs 90% over our house. It is halfway dead and I have a horrible feeling it’s going to come down on our house in some big storm someday…. so I totally get the feeling of GET IT DOWN. Happy y’all are safe — and hell yeah it’s cool to see them bringing down a giant tree that’s dead! Awesome!!!

    1. Another friend of mine in Rockaway had to have his house brought down due to Sandy damage. Happened yesterday- he said it was just an hour and a half, and that’s with doing it in such a way that it didn’t fall into the houses next door.

  2. We were able to take down four threatening trees before they fell on our house or the neighbor’s, or rained giant branches onto our cars. It was definitely a relief not to go outside every day and think, “Is that one leaning farther over than it used to?” Glad they finally removed your evil tree!

    1. Two of the frustrating things we learned is that 1) insurance companies don’t pay for preventative tree damage control, they only pay if it actually lands on you and 2) you have no authority to get a tree removed that is not on your property even if said tree is leaning right the hell at your house. Oh, and 3) tree removal is really expensive. This one is a huge relief. I get giddy every day when I see the stump!

Comment. It gives me a reason not to clean my house.

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