Where This Week Went. With Bonus Profanity.

It went in a cold snap.

One with lots of wind that made a rare opportunity to see a home track meet unfortunately very short.

To an afternoon of cleaning out my closet, of trying on every item of clothing I own and deciding:

I’m fucking done being neurotic about my body.

Life is too short, and forty is too awesome, for neurotic. Four bags of  donated clothes later, somehow I feel like I have a new wardrobe. Less truly is more, sometimes.

The week passed with a meeting of my writers’ group, followed by a much-needed, greatly enjoyed lunch with the ever-fabulous Christine from Quasi Agitato. It passed in a sushi dinner with one old friend, and two new ones.

The week went to an ivory evening gown, which I bought four years ago at Nordstrom’s Rack in Chicago for only thirty-five dollars because it was pre-altered and had a heel hole in the train which my tailor sewed up for me so you can’t even tell.

I wore it to CC’s opening night, even though it doesn’t hide my stomach.

My only embellishments were red lipstick and my handsome, handsome husband.  Away from me, someone told him I looked like a badass angel goddess.

That pretty much made my whole life.

This is a picture of me taking a picture of myself in my mirror. Just under my left elbow is my dress, folded over the back of the chair. We did not get a picture of ourselves at the shindig, partly because that useless little purse you carry with an evening gown doesn’t hold your lipstick, phone, car keys AND a camera. Hell, it won’t even hold a camera by itself. Or an epi-pen, I’m told. I considered putting the dress back on just for a picture here, but ultimately decided I was too lazy. Trust me though, we looked fabulous. Also, I am too lazy to figure out how to use the timer on the camera so that I don’t have to look like a douche holding the damn camera in the mirror. Hmm. . . this picture is a remarkably helpful illustration. Of nothing.

The week passed in six commutes, eight shows, eight onstage hangings and crucifixions. Eight times of laughing to myself out loud at the end of the night and saying, “Holy shit these guys are on fire!” because our band is that damn fantastic. It passed with one Drama Desk Best Sound nomination, followed by the crappiest show I’ve mixed here.


These things happen.

The week passed in a couple of yoga classes and some miles on the treadmill and an awful lot of staring myself down in the mirror saying yes I can when I really wanted to just stop.

And eat a cookie. Or ninety.

The week went to this thing in my refrigerator:

I can’t decide if I want someone to tell me what it is or not.

The week passed with Metallica, Sixx A.M. and My Chemical Romance. It was spent with my Uncle Tupelo station on Pandora.

It went to parenting that was neither funny nor satisfying- the ugly, unsettling kind that leaves you second guessing yourself while simultaneously knowing that, given the chance for a do-over, you would make the same decisions. You would still be left feeling sad and anxious and  nauseous.

It passed with Jenny Lawson’s stupidly excellent book Let’s Pretend This Never Happened. She’s so awesome it pisses me off. I love her. I almost want to be her when I grow up except then it wouldn’t be as much fun to read her stuff. Which is the exact same reason why I don’t want to be a yoga teacher. Sort of. Also, I think I’m older than her, which would make being her when I grow up even more difficult.

The week went to lots of dog hair and stinky puppy feet, to puggle butts trotting through the cemetery as they sniffed about the freshly dead, of which there were many.

It went to a couple of fantastic mornings on my deck, listing things for which I am grateful. Like not being a reason that the cemetery is busy.

It went to Peanut Butter Puffins and skim milk. Skim, because it makes the best gooey-peanut butter milk at the end of the bowl. Trust me.

The week passed in many games of Scramble, with my sister and also my boss- whom, I am now certain, is cheating and has a ringer sitting in for him. Pretending. But still not winning.

It passed in saying goodbye to my two men as they went on a Scouting trip for the weekend.

It ends with not enough sleep in a bed that is far too empty, even with a puggle or two.

I hear myself say, “Where’d the week go?” but I know exactly where this week went.


33 thoughts on “Where This Week Went. With Bonus Profanity.

  1. I LOVE this post. I think you cram into a week’s time what most do in a month! The dress sounds absolutely gorgeous – but even moreso, you in it! You’re still blowing my mind with this whole 40 thing. I refuse to believe it. You are HAWT. Trust me. [CC and strangers and] I know these things. And congratulations on the sound nomination!!

    I’m also reading Jenny Lawson’s book and LOVING it – this style memoir is my favorite genre AND it’s by an awesome blogger, so I’m in my glory!

    P.S. – If you find out what that was in the fridge, you must share, LOL

    1. As you know from Facebook, it’s a crystal. Being grown for Chemistry class. Apparently, that version of it was bagged and there is another version on TOP of the fridge that looks like it is in a glass of coca-cola.

  2. The only good thing about watching your body age is all the funny stuff you can write and say about it. Obviously, there’s no point in telling you to keep your sense of humor! 😉

  3. I love this. I love you. If I can love me aging, so can you. “Feel the fear and do it anyway!” But I still want to see a picture of you in the ivory dress.

  4. Wow! Now that’s a busy week. 😀 I love that you can sit back on your deck and enjoy life. I find myself wanting less things as I get older (or more mature…probably just older) and really, thoroughly enjoying the things that I already have.

    1. I keep reminding myself that the more things I have, the more I have to keep track of them, dig them out of the bottom of some kid’s closet, and clean them.

  5. I love your week and all your honesty about it, and mostly just that you listed everything, good and bad, and were brave enough to share it. I’m sure you DID look like a badass angel goddess — the highest of all compliments. Love Jenny Lawson, too — I’m so jealous of her I can’t stand it.

  6. Well I’m glad you took a picture of yourself sitting down for what was apparently the only time this week that you actually did. Badass angel. Hooray for affirmation in all its forms.

  7. Absolutely LOVE Sixx A.M.!!

    Have you read Nikki Sixx’s two books? I’m partial to “The Heroin Diaries” in part because I was at one of the shows he wrote about. hahaha… But “This is Gonna Hurt” is pretty good too in a more introspective sort of way.

    1. Dude. I’ve been wanting to do a post about him forever. I have way more to say about it than I can put in a comment reply. I love him and I love his band and my kids totally stole that CD from me and it never fails to make me happy to hear them blasting it in their bedrooms.

  8. Ahhhh, Another reason to be happy I’m a canine A.S. I’m got that hair all over my bod to cover all those extra Puperoni treats that should be showing. My human loved your post (he usually does), but he opined, “Poor gal – what a week – but when you get as old as I am you can’t remember all the manure that was heaped on during the week much less do a great job of writing about it.” What did confuscious say? Shit happens. (great post)

  9. Uncle Tupelo! Always a good Pandora stand-by. Also, your picture is a perfect illustration of your awesome hair, of which I am super envious.

    1. That’s an awesome compliment! I often think of us living parallel lives on opposite sides of the globe. And, a certain young man’s expression when I am trying (and failing) to flip my eggs.

      1. 😆 It was a great expression, wasn’t it? Raining cats and dogs here, we HAVE to get a clothes dryer this winter! Too much washing for 6 people!

  10. God this post is so beautiful. It’s a side of your writing I haven’t seen before. Your signature humor is there, of course, but I also hear a big “sigh” in it. The good kind of sigh. The grateful, accepting, satisfied-head-nodding kind of sigh. I love it!

  11. Really enjoy the writing in this episode. Your hilarious observations and quick wit aside, you really put the reader in the moment each time. Now if you ever get to see yourself the way WE all see you… as smart, quirky, funny, and shockingly beautiful inside & out- how will that change the way you depict your escapades? Tossing up the horns to Badass Angel Goddess. Rock on, sister!

  12. It was a good hair week, wasn’t it? I discovered mousse. And let it curl. If it all possible, I think you actually may have bigger hair than me. Which looks great on you, of course.
    What kind of an event allows for a vintage wedding dress? I’m pretty sure I want to go to that. Wedding Dresses don’t get nearly enough play.

    1. I am totally afraid of mousse! Does it make your hair even bigger? I am taking my wedding dress cue from Amanda Palmer and wearing it wherever I want. Next up: the shooting range.

      1. Awesome idea.
        aND NO, my hair is so big naturally, that mousse really does settle it down – even in the rain. I look forward to seeing pics of you anywhere in your sacred white dress:)

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