Reality Check

So I’ve started work on a new show. Right now we’re getting all the gear together at the sound shop during the day. Daytime I’m in the shop, and at night I mix my old show. If I felt ineffective and absent as a parent before, it’s nothing compared to how I feel now, and I’m only three days in.

I take Sundays off from mixing the old show so I can have a day off. I know myself. If I don’t do that when it’s possible, life sucks. I need a day off. Sue me.

We’ve got some budding athletes in our family. It’s a genuine treat (rare and enjoyable) when we can get to one of their games/meets/matches. Because of the extra work right now it’s nearly impossible to get to one. My guilt is directly proportional to my availability.

I started my day today by getting more than five hours of sleep. I followed that with not having to drive over the George Washington Bridge. Made a last minute appointment to get some PT on my shoulder. Hung out with kids and puppies. Ran errands. Went to Bikram Yoga with #1, which was way cool (and she didn’t even make me go on the opposite side of the room from her). Came home and started getting dinner together and pondered the rest of the day. My list of must-do’s was far longer than the hours remaining.

#3 had a basketball game tonight. She’s on the middle school travel team. While I was cooking dinner heating up food she asked me if could come to her game.

Me: I don’t think so, sweetie.

#3: Awww. Pleeeese?

Me: I really don’t mean to blow you off, but I’m working two jobs right now. This is my only day off and I’m trying to do the things I need to do to be okay. There aren’t enough hours in the day to do everything, you know? You know how I can get.

#3: (with a knowing nod and a sigh) Yeah, I do.

Me: I’m trying not to get like that.

#5: You mean fat?

******************

For the record, I sacked my must-do list and we watched Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone while having popcorn and milkshakes, thereby negating my one and only workout this week. It was totally worth it.

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26 thoughts on “Reality Check

  1. Dear JM — I can feel the guilt and exhaustion and desperate desire to do everything brilliantly in this post, and I have to say — just from reading your blog, I KNOW you are a really devoted, wonderful parent … so to the extent possible, try to give yourself a break. And p.s. can I come over for milkshakes and popcorn?? Breakfast of champions!

  2. Do I know your feeling! I’m not working two jobs, but I feel like I am. Left the office at 6pm, got home and organised dinner (Miss O 1 actually cooked), took Mr O for a driving practice run and it was 10:15pm by the time we waled back in the door. Up again at 6:15pm. I need more sleep and I’ve done no writing and my reading is falling behind again!

    1. I feel you! I’m trying to think smaller, and immediately, if that makes any sense. Grabbing bits and pieces as I can. Right now I’m slow to come back from lunch so I can check my blog 🙂

  3. I feel for you. Guilt sucks but we can’t avoid it, even when we’re doing the best we can. I think you’re a terrific mother. Popcorn, milkshakes, and Harry Potter? It doesn’t get much better than that.

  4. wow, this sounds rough! i am glad that you had a good day off! and harry potter and milkshakes sounds awesome! i can’t wait until my boys are old enough to watch the movies!

  5. I’m SO glad you’re giving yourself that day off! I am cranky having to work ONE full-time job! LOL You’re incredible!

    And now #1 is making me look bad, too. 😉

  6. Nice zinger, #5.
    What’s up with your shoulder? I’m having serious neck and shoulder issues. Kill me now. Saying that just made me feel SO OLD.
    Congrats on the 2nd show. Does your steady know? Break it to them gently 😉

  7. Popcorn and Milkshakes…perfect.
    You’re a machine! Good for you for taking a day off. Even machines need to rest. 😉

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