You know what’s cheap and easy?
(Are you done? Can I move on? Thanks.)
Getting a dog license.
To get a dog license you don’t have to prove yourself a responsible pet owner. All you need is proof of the rabies vaccination. Not distemper or bordetella. You don’t have to prove that you’re not making them subsist on Twinkies. The town officials don’t inspect the dog, they don’t ask it about its home life; your dog doesn’t have to perform tricks or do higher order mathematics. A copy of the vaccination record and, in my town, eight dollars and twenty cents is all you need.
Our puppies got the rabies shot as soon as they were old enough, but the vaccination record. That damn piece of paper sat in The Pile so long. . . let’s just say it’s a good thing it’s a three-year vaccine.
The task of getting the dogs licensed became something I remembered only when I was taking them for a walk, and, once I thought of it, I was filled with a certainty that they were going to be ticketed and flatbedded away at any moment.
In my defense (I’m starting to notice just how often I say that, and it seems to only be in relation to parenting or otherwise managing the household), I did go to the office that handles these things back in December, with the eight dollars (and twenty cents, per dog) and the damn piece of paper. The lady told me I should probably wait until January because I’d just have to do it all over again. Check that out: an actual town official, actively encouraging my procrastination. It may have been because I interrupted her lunch break.
For the record? This is the same office I had to go to for my marriage license.
I knew if they got busted, my coercion defense wouldn’t make any difference to the arresting officer. I’d end up have to get them a lawyer. It would be a legal nightmare.
Luckily I have experience in such matters.
CC finally took care of it last week. What a relief. Street Legal Puggles.
What have you had on your to-do list the longest?
JM Randolph, accidentalstepmom 
I finally got around to getting Hay mulch placed into my garden. My whole lot of garden. Apparently, I couldn’t arrange it for 5 months – because I had to:
– mow the lawn first
– look for and pick up any marbles from the lawn so I could first mow the lawn (lawn mowing was a procrastinated task too as you can see)
– pull out the coffee bean trees
– get the weeds out (which the mulch kills anyway)
– Kill the cross spiders in the lemon tree so I wouldnt be too scared to go under and place the mulch
– and ofcourse, I had to get the mulch!
Did you know here, the RSPCA in some cities conducts house inspections before they will let you buy a dog from their pound.
Also, Our registration fees are $30 per financial year minimum – dependant on the council. And if your dog approaches the fence and barks at a passer by (who isnt trying to scale your fence) you can be fined $175. 3rd offence – off to doggy training school and your doggy registration becomes more expensive. The reward for owning a now categorised ‘nusiance dog’.
Very cute doglets you have there by the way!
I totally understand needing to kill the spiders first. According to all the TV shows, of every Top Ten Most Deadly [fill in the blank] list, nine of them live in Australia. I would kill them too.
I can only imagine the fines we would rack up if they gave our dogs tickets for being nuisances. It would be astronomical.
Longest?? Well there’s the bedroom floor that sat as a stack of Oak flooring in the livingroom for over fifteen years. Does that count?? (It only took a weekend to actually lay the floor; it’s not a very big room–10×12?)
Oh, and I didn’t mention that it sat in one place so long that it got termites!
Wow! I don’t feel so bad. Our flooring that we haven’t put down yet has only been with us for 18 months.
That’s awesome. I think you win.
So now they are both legal citizens! You can now relax! Cute little doggies by the way!
We love them bunches! It’s a relief, being legal.
The longest thing to do on my to-do list is take clothes to the Goodwill. I have bags full that I should take and just haven’t gotten around to it.
I’m that way too. The only way I get past that is by using a different organization: pickupplease.org supports Vietnam Vets and they’ll come pick up your donations. They also take books, which many organizations don’t.
Dog and license just don’t even seem like they should be in the same sentence. Did you have to do a walking test?
Longest on my list is probably one remaining piece of trim in our bathroom. I’m choosing to think not doing it is symbolic of something.
Walking like obedience, or walking like sobriety?
I like your symbolism theory. I may try that out.
Awww, they’re both so cute! 🙂
Honestly, I’m not a big procrastinator. I blame my Type-A tendencies. However, I do have three mirrors that I wanted my husband to hang that have been sitting in the corner of our bedroom for over a month. However, since we’re moving in two or so weeks, I guess he gets out of that chore.
That hardly seems fair. I can only assume the chore will follow him to the new place.
I think cleaning out/vacuuming the car has been on my to-do list the longest. I’m not homeless, but I sort of live in my car. Lots of driving. Lots of shoes in my car. And Tupperware. Also a pot holder. Randomly.
Interesting, though, that you talk about street legal dogs. Moments before reading this post, a neighbor asked me if he could use my cell phone. He was holding a dog by the collar. The dog had a tag bearing his name (Rocco) and a phone number. We called. His owner said, “He’s fine. He’s near my mom’s house. Just let him go. He’ll come right back to me.” Well… um, that’s pretty irresponsible, since he could be hit by a car or he could have an altercation with one of the kids out playing on the playground right now… and also, we let him go and he just laid down. Grrr.
Of course he laid down. He was worn out from his capture. We have people in our town who like to walk with their dogs off the leash, because their dogs are so well-behaved and friendly. Problem is, my dogs aren’t, and still go after them, and I am left scrambling to reel them in on their leashes and prevent badness. It’s my fault that they’re poorly trained, I get it, but we also have a leash law.
I once had to go to court for not having my dog licensed. The cops had nothing better to do, and went knocking door-to-door. My dog barked, so there was no way to hide it. No license. A ticket, a court date. She had been last vaccinated in California, so it took weeks for the vet to locate and mail the official documents. And the meanie judge would not let it go, charging me lots to punish me, even though she was safely vaccinated-all because I didn’t pay them the measely $7.00
The year before, they got me for having chickens. I had to go to court, and the ticket the cop handed me said, under violation: “harboring chickens in backyard” I actually had a lawyer for defense on that one – a cousins husband who just happened to be in court on another case. Result? $10 nusiance fee. Turns out, you don’t have to license your chickens if you are not allowed to have them in the first place.
5 years later, back to court. Turns out, I inadvertantly kept the cutest of the chickens I was forced by judicial decree
to give away. Then a maintenance worker saw it and reported me. The Dept. of Health came in and everything. Just someone out there bustin my balls again.
Procrastination? Absolutely everything else.
Dear God. I have no words. I had no idea one could “harbor” chickens; it sounds as if they’re on the lam and you were hiding them. Are you in New Jersey? This seems like a total NJ move.
Dear Ms. JM,
Okay, this is nothing short of a civil rights issue. Mother Hen is sick and tired of these bureaucrats (and butchers, if that is not the same thing) interfering with chickens’ rights to pursue life, happiness and the occasional grub. MH says to call the NAACP (National Association of America for Chickens’ Pride) and sue those beggers for your $10, and your chickens’ pain and suffering.
Mother Hen would like to give those uncivil servants a piece of her mind, but she can’t spare any.
Indignantly yours,
Mother Hen
Those puggles are so adorable! And dang, it’s $12 in my town ($15 for unspayed/uneutered)! I just got a notice to renew my license by July 31st, so I’m certain that will be my next procrastination target. I’m told the DMV out here in the [western Jersey] sticks isn’t bad, though…pray for me.
Wow, it’s $45 out here in CA, you guys are all lucky!
I would say that we make up for it in other taxes, but I’ve lived in California, and we’re pretty much even. Nobody in the country can touch NJ and CA in that regard.
Go in the middle of the month, like the second or third week. I also recommend either mid morning or mid afternoon. Oh, and bring a book.
Install – window trim, nose moldings on the stairs, hand rail and railing, baseboards, sound system speakers – all the things that will finish the living room reno, and it has only been a year and a half since we started the project!
Hey, as long as you get the sound system in before the format that they broadcast in changes, you’re golden.
Longest to-do list left undone? Um, all laundry done (never gonna happen). I guess outside the normal stuff, it’s mailing back my son’s school supplies from our failed homeschool attempt. I ordered the labels in December and had four months. They’re still in my bedroom, packed in boxes. I’ll have to reorder the labels. I’m sure the Department of Education will be sending me some strongly worded emails soon. Or maybe not. The government is almost as inefficient as I am.
I am pretty sure the government won’t notice. I have a serious block regarding shipping things, especially returns. God bless Zappos.com and their 365 day return policy.
Twinkies…. 🙂
They would love them. And it would cost me $400 at the vet, per dog, because of their badly-bred GI tracts.
cleaning out “the CLOSET” in the office. it has become some sort of catch-all in the house for everything that probably should be thrown out but needs proper evaluation and lengthy goodbyes. i’m almost scared to open it. actually, i think something fell against the weird accordion type doors preventing me from opening it.. . but envisioning something scary and otherworldy furthers my procrastination and i feel justified.
I had a closet with slidey doors that got stuck. Stuck doors go a long, long way towards not having to deal with the closet!
I have a box of papers under the desk still to deal with, if it makes you feel any better! So my “The Pile” is sort of invisible, but I hate to think what is in that box.
I’m always afraid that if I make The Pile hide away, I’ll never ever deal with it. But it has such a soul-sucking energy, I imagine I’d feel it anywhere.
Most days l feel like my whole life is a giant, unfinished to-do list! I’m so behind I haven’t even made the list yet 🙂 Cute pups!
I can relate. I did make an actual paper list once, but they ate it.
While it’s true that you don’t have to do much to become a legal dog owner in most towns, you have to do even less to become a legal parent of actual human children. Interesting.
Yeah, that one gets me too. All you have to do is conceive. You don’t even have to pay the town for a tag for their collar.
Cleaning out my wardrobe of unwanted clothes. I hate doing it. Folding all those clothes. Specially as my mom wont let me ‘clean’ it out. Every item of clothing which I decide to give away ends up going back in the closet since my mom will throw a tantrum about throwing away ‘blessings’ when I can easily wear them. She just doesn’t seem to understand that I no longer fit in those clothes. She says you’ll lose weight and then you can wear it. So I just don’t clean it any more because I can’t face the pile of clothes I own and don’t wear. 😛
And organizing my book shelf. And trying to paint. I’ve been meaning to do all these things for well over a year.
I can’t even begin to imagine how maddening that must be with the closet. Drives me batty when I finally muster up the energy to tackle an unwanted task, and someone goes around behind me and undoes it. Quite possibly the bane of my existence.
Its good to know that I am not the only one who loses all sense when that happens! Thank goodness!
I have a rug hooking kit that my grandmother started before she died that I was going to finish for her.
Grandma passed away 23 years ago.
Jodi
She’s probably doing okay without it.
😮 wow… you totally rock!
I love how you refer to your papers as “The Pile.” Thank goodness I’m not the only one who doesn’t file every day.
I consider it a great thing if I file every other week. I always thought The Pile would make for a good B-horror flick.
Eh, I don’t bother with that crap. I doubt the dog police are ever going to come out to our hovel in the middle of nowhere and ask for a dog license. I just figure it’s one more way they’re bleeding cash out of the people. I make sure my animals are vaccinated, safe, don’t run wild, and call it good. Let em fine me!