Bacon, eggs, and brains

#5’s birthday is just days after school starts. When he started kindergarten, he was still four years old for a few days. I know a lot of parents that would have waited to start him in school. Thankfully, they don’t live in our house.

His favorite thing in the world is bacon. This year his teacher celebrates birthdays by having every student write something nice about the birthday kid and draw a picture. Then she takes all these sheets and staples them together in a book for the birthday kid. #5’s book is full of variations on: he’s smart, he’s funny, he likes bacon.

Inexplicably, his second favorite thing in the world is zombies.

The other thing that happens right after school starts is school picture day. I don’t remember school pictures happening so quickly when I was in school. Probably my mom is just a better parent than me and was way more on top of this stuff than I am. But honestly, it’s the second or third day of school. I can never remember which.

All the kids get a billion pieces of paper on the first day of school, which I promptly put in The Pile, to sort through eventually (that’s a total of five billion pieces of paper, for those of you following along at home). Somewhere in there are the order forms for picture day. I never get through The Pile in time for picture day, because it’s like tomorrow, or the day after. Hell, who am I kidding? I never get through The Pile, period.

Luckily both the school and the kids know this. The school knows how to get my money for pictures, and the kids know to wear their favorite clothes on the right day.

They also know not to remind me it’s picture day if they think I may have something to say about their choice of clothing.

This is the t-shirt (yes, t-shirt) #5 wore for school pictures this year. Be sure to check out my mad ironing skills in these pictures.

This is the shirt he wore for school pictures last year.

This is the shirt I bought him for Christmas this year, which I have a
sneaking suspicion may end up in school pictures next year.


31 thoughts on “Bacon, eggs, and brains

  1. #5 is going to wind up being the coolest kid anybody knows, because he makes statements without really trying. He doesn’t have an attitude problem; he’s just keepin’ it real. All the other kids will look up to him, and in the end, he will have you to thank for his self-esteem and security. Unless his hair sticks up in the pictures.

  2. I love #5, and bacon!. This is hilarious.
    My mom used to dress to the 9’s on picture day because she thought it reflected poorly on her if we looked “normal”. In my 2nd grade picture I’m wearing the flower girl dress I wore for my uncle’s very fancy wedding. A flower girl dress. To school. Classy.

  3. the kid has good taste! redneck princess sent me your way and i am thankful, because your blog is funny and all of us parent types can use a little laughter!

  4. I let my kids wear T-shirts on picture day. All I ask is that the T-shirts and faces are not smeared in food.
    Sometimes, the food happens anyway…I wish they would take photos before lunch.

  5. Ever since reading this post I’ve had this song in my head. If #5 hasn’t seen this cartoon (on Cartoon Network, though they don’t make new episodes anymore) he would probably love it.


  6. Luckily for some mothers, we have things called school uniforms. So everyone wears the same thing! Which would have solved your problem, Don’t Marke That Face!! I can’t imagine your situation!

    I’m with #5 – bacon all the way! Not so keen on the zombies.

    Yay for school uniforms!

  7. I loved this! I laughed out loud many, many times… and I also love your post about Brickie. I know exactly how you feel about school picture day. I have 4 of my own, and two years ago, on the night before school picture day, my appendix ruptured. One of the first things I said upon waking up after surgery… “Great. We’re gonna have to get retakes.”
    Also… I, too, love bacon! Go #5!

  8. #5 sounds like a gem. I’d love to have any of those three shirts, ironed or not.

    Taking the liberty of reposting this here. I think you’ll enjoy it. My take on school pictures.

    I hope you know you can share anything on my blog, as well. Except that vomit bug.

  9. He’ll probably grow up to be a neuroscientist or something like that way beyond cool Dr. David Eagleman (see this month’s New Yorker). How can you not love a kid that is into brains, bacon and zombies? My kind of man!

    He needs a Bacon-Eating Sock Zombie!!!!

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