Summer is sucking my soul. Luckily my kids are still amusing me. Here are some more zings for your enjoyment.

*********************

At dinner last night:

#4: Daddy! Daddy! I want to go surfing!

CC: Get a job. Buy a surfboard.

**********************

Speaking of surfing. . .

#5: You know that movie Soul Surfer, where the girl gets her arm eaten by a shark?

#2: Yeah?

#5: How does that girl put on a bra?

Clearly, he’s folded way too much of his sisters’ laundry than can possibly be healthy.

**********************

#3: I kind of have a photographical memory.

#2: If that were true, you’d know it wasn’t photographical.

#3: Wait, what?

*********************

#5, on having to sit in the back seat on a cold winter day while #4 got the front seat and the accompanying seat warmer: This car doesn’t care at all about the butts of the people sitting in the back seat.

**********************

#4, on tutoring: Getting taught one-on-one is better, because there’s no one there to steal your thunder.

********************

My kids are all picky eaters. #5 hates, hates fish. Sadly for him, I cook a lot of it. When #4 was taking guitar lessons, I would often bring #5 with me, and we would hit the grocery store for dinner while #4 was in her lesson.

One day I had a different idea. Right next to the grocery store is a Carvel’s ice cream store. I thought it would be cool to sneak him an ice cream cone without anyone else there. I pulled into the parking lot and turned the car off.

Me: C’mon, buddy, let’s go ruin your dinner!

#5: Aw, does that mean we’re having fish again?

What’s your favorite way to ruin your dinner?