Sunday dinner, me and #2-5.

#2 asks an intelligent question about AIDS in third world countries that requires the use of the word condom in my answer.

#5: What’s a condom?

#2: Oh God.

#3: NOOOOO!

Me: Well. . .

In unison, #2, #3, and #4 drop their forks, put their hands over their ears, close their eyes and start going , “LALALALALALALA!”

Me, looking at #5: When people have sex

#5, interrupting: Stop talking. Stop talking NOW.

Here’s another time I answered an awkward question from #5 (though this time he let me finish).

I have a Facebook page. If you Like it, you can get treated to such deep insights as this:

#5: I think I’m double jointed somewhere because I can lick my neck.