One Beautiful Sunday

I woke up yesterday at 6:15am to give #2 money to go to Atlantic City.

Don’t judge me. Her high school choir was performing in the Miss America parade.

Beauty pageants pretty much represent everything I’m against: overemphasis on outer beauty, popularity, conformity, and vapidness. I’ve always had a closed mind to them. Then I was forced by my children to watch enough of one episode of Toddlers and Tiaras to be totally okay with my mind slammed shut against beauty pageants.

Until this week, that is, when CC sent me a link to an article on one of the contestants in this year’s Miss America pageant. I started digging around and found more that made me open my mind just a little.

Sergeant Theresa Vail from Kansas, whose platform is Empowering Women, Overcoming Stereotypes, and Breaking Barriers. She’s an expert M-16 marksman, a bowhunter, and field dresses her own game. When she walks in the swimsuit portion of the competition, you’re gonna see her tattoos. She’s my favorite, so she gets two links: the People magazine article and her own blog post explaining why she chose not to cover up her tattoos.

Nicole Kelly from Iowa was born without her left forearm. Her platform is The Power of One and she wants to go on the road as a theater stage manager. Nicole, I know people! We can set you up. Here’s a link to the Today article.

Jennifer Smestad from my former home of Arizona was diagnosed with Tourette’s Syndrome at age 10. She keeps it in check today with acupuncture. Her platform is Tourette’s Syndrome Awareness and Advocacy. Here’s a link to the Daily Mail article.

All the contestants do their own hair and makeup for the final televised competition tonight. This is because, during her reign, Miss America has to do it all herself anyway. And every time she walks out the door, she has to look like Miss Freaking America. Can you imagine? No running out for half & half in last night’s mascara and the yoga pants you slept in, no swinging by the dry cleaners when you just ran five miles at the gym and are drenched with sweat.

I may still not be completely enamored of beauty pageants, but Miss America has my attention tonight. 9pm on ABC.

Happy Sunday.

One Momster Sunday

Here in the Northeast, we have three more weeks of summer vacation left. School doesn’t start until September 9. This may be incomprehensible to many of you who have had your kids back in school for weeks but rest assured, we get out at the very ass-end of June. By the time your kids are sick of the town pool, mine haven’t even taken finals yet.

Over on Family Circle’s Momster blog, I wrote a post about subversive tactics to use with your kids in the fight against summer sloth. There’s nothing quite as satisfying as tricking your kids into thinking.

The Puggles were supposed to tell you about the post, which came out a while back, but they totally dropped the ball. Their two favorite people in the whole world–CC and #4– went out of town at the same time.

They were beside themselves.

Needy Puggles paint an ugly picture. I’m pretty sure they got drunk.

It certainly would explain that battery of late-night texts they sent from my phone that were full of poor grammar and spelling and looked as though they were typed by someone not in the possession of thumbs. Not to mention the pictures I found there.

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Anyway, I’m totally counting that as one of the links today, so go check it out: Picking Your Battles in the Fight Against Summer Sloth on Family Circle’s Momster.

Maybe you don’t have kids; maybe you’re single and dating. Maybe you do have kids and you’re dating. Maybe you want to be reminded of why you don’t date anymore, or how glad you are you got married if solely for the get-out-of-dating-free pass it gives you. Regardless, go check out Amy Neswald’s guest post on Psychology Today. She gives us Five Awkward First Dates You Probably Want to Avoid.

The best damn recipe for strawberry frosted cupcakes ever, on Marge Perry’s A Sweet and Savory Life… and if you don’t tear up a little at the story, you may be Satan.

Here’s a great resource I found on Twitter: 13 Inspirational TED Talks for Writers from Aerogramme Writers’ Studio.

And finally, if you’re a man who is planning on skinny dipping in Scandanavia, Beware the Pacu. It’s a fish. That’s all I’m going to say about it.

*whistling*

Oh, come on, you at least have to click through and see the picture.

Happy Sunday.

One Leo Sunday

We experienced a great loss at work last month: Leonardo died.

I’ve been asked to say a few words about him.

Despite his fierce reputation, he never got into any fights at work.

He brought the office together in much-loved games such as Fish Taco* and Where’s Leo**?

While he enjoyed the occasional treat and a bit of travel while his home was being cleaned, he really preferred the simpler things in life. You could pretty much always find him relaxing on the water.

I mean in the water.

Leo, you are missed. The picture we have in place of your mini-aquarium is a poor substitute for your former glistening presence. I will always fondly remember you crossing your fins as you lounged in your leaf, mere days before your untimely demise.

leonardo — Leonardo, pre-death. Note the leaf. Photo: Davis Duffield.

Just keep swimming, Leo. Just keep swimming.

* “Fish Taco” was a game in which, when one observed Leo reclining in his leaf (mounted sideways in his bowl and curved in such a way that if one really used one’s imagination one could see how it might be said to resemble a taco shell) one would then scream, “FISH TACO!” and then punch (pseudo-good-naturedly, as in a game of Punch Buggy) whomsoever happened to be within arm’s reach.

** “Where’s Leo?” is rather self-explanatory game, although one might wonder where exactly a beta fish could hide in an approximately one-quart-sized aquarium. The answer, of course, is anywhere he can.

Here are your links:

I thought this one was particularly cool: What a week’s worth of groceries looks like in 15 different countries, and what it costs. We spend $340, much like the family from the US, though what we buy looks very different. The lack of fast food makes our dollars go further, but it does cram our fridge full and lead to many refrains of “There’s nothing to eat!” (Technically we have more children than that family, but theirs are teenage boys, so I don’t think you can truly draw that comparison…I think it’s a safe bet that the parents don’t get any of the pizza the kids are holding.)

A photographic series showing what 200 calories looks like in different foods: Artfido.

This is a beautiful photo series: fstoppers- Portraits of the elderly as they once were.

Which is a nice tie-in to Long-Life Advice From 7 Centenarians. Real Simple.

A badass tutorial: How to Photoshop Your Gremlin Kids Into a Star Wars Poster on the Dimwit Diary.

Happy Sunday.