It isn’t that he is suddenly full of useful information:
#5: Did you know that you can die from shopping? Yeah, if you stay there too long. This is why you should always shop in a place that has a food court.
It isn’t that he went from this:
To this:
It’s that his zings are getting better:
Me, ranting in a stage whisper: I swear, everyone in this house must be allergic to the dishwasher. How soon they forget the dark days before we lived in a house with a dishwasher. Maybe I should ban it for the summer.
#5: Hey, Julie?
Me: What!
#5: Can I get an epi-pen?
Me: Why on God’s green earth do you want an epi-pen?
#5: Because I’m allergic to the dishwasher.
*****
#1, to #5: So when are you going to get a girlfriend?
#5: When are you going to move out?
******
During our drive to Indiana over Thanksgiving, the only boy (besides Jack the dog) in a car full of girls:
#5: Why are all these fields empty?
#1: Because nothing grows in the winter, doofus.
#5: Your back hair does.
JM Randolph, accidentalstepmom 
I always knew I liked that kid.
It’s a proud moment in any mom (or stepmom)’s life when their kid can disrespect them with style (wiping tear away.)
It makes you feel like you’ve done something right.
haha, cute! There may be some stand-up comedy in his future 😉
#5 had me with his drawings…..
Nice. And it’s only getting started. Beware of the excellent barb.
I’m with pegoleg. So proud. So. Very. Proud.
I think he’s probably right and you probably can die from shopping ….
He’s going to end up with one awesome woman…only an awesome one is going to be handle that level of smart-arse.
Very true. It’s not for the faint-of-heart.
Kid’s a g-damned genius.
Now if the arguments between my step-kids could sound like this…I would be alright.
I worked in shopping centres for 10 years and I swear to you that you can die in them. Or at least your soul can. Thank goodness for McDonalds
I totally believe that. The Godiva store at my mall closed and I haven’t been back since.
HAHAHAHA! Awesome 😀
Ah, dear…they grow up so fast 🙂
It is the bacon that does it 🙂
Sarcasm is an art, not something easily taught. It can only be nurtured in the next generation. After all, they are the future. Teach him well, and let him lead the way.
Congrats! A true “wise guy”.
I don’t want to scare you, but I cannot WAIT until he starts dating. (If you’re feeling anxious, just remember the blog potential!)
Love the back hair one!
#5 sounds fun. Like the kind that makes moms want to punch themselves but is hilarious to everyone else around. Like when my 2 year old yelled out, “I like alcohol (referring to rubbing alcohol we used to clean a wound)! It makes me feel better!” Yep. Me, too, son. Me, too.