It isn’t that he is suddenly full of useful information:
#5: Did you know that you can die from shopping? Yeah, if you stay there too long. This is why you should always shop in a place that has a food court.
It isn’t that he went from this:
It’s that his zings are getting better:
Me, ranting in a stage whisper: I swear, everyone in this house must be allergic to the dishwasher. How soon they forget the dark days before we lived in a house with a dishwasher. Maybe I should ban it for the summer.
#5: Hey, Julie?
#5: Can I get an epi-pen?
Me: Why on God’s green earth do you want an epi-pen?
#5: Because I’m allergic to the dishwasher.
#1, to #5: So when are you going to get a girlfriend?
#5: When are you going to move out?
During our drive to Indiana over Thanksgiving, the only boy (besides Jack the dog) in a car full of girls:
#5: Why are all these fields empty?
#1: Because nothing grows in the winter, doofus.
#5: Your back hair does.