Mr. Contradictory

#5 has always had a deep-seated need to be right. He’s fond of telling you why you’re wrong- about anything, really, and he’s only eight. I can’t wait to see what happens when he’s a teenager. Although I’m told boys stop talking when they’re teens.

I’ll believe that when I see it.

I’m taking CC to the train this morning and we pass a road sign near our house, the black and yellow ones that show a curve ahead.

#5: That sign is new.

CC: The one that says No Parking Any Time?

#5: No the one with the arrow.

Me: Hey look at that. The one that was there before was all dinked up, but that one is shiny.

#5: No, it’s new.

Me: Shiny new. Did they replace it?

#5: No, it’s a new sign.

Me: New and improved, huh?

#5: No.

Me: But it’s new and shiny, so it’s new and improved, like in a commercial, right?

#5: No.

Me: Isn’t it better than the old one?

#5: Yes.

Me: Doesn’t that make it improved?

#5: No, it’s new. It’s a new sign.

Me: Let me give you a piece of advice, buddy. Every once in a while, let a woman be right. It will make your life so much easier.

#5: No.

CC: Let me ask you this: would you rather be right, or be happy?

#5: Um. . . What’s the difference?

How about you: Right, or Happy? Or are they the same for you, too?

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41 thoughts on “Mr. Contradictory

  1. !2-step advocates say happy better than right. Well if the guy is putting inadequate electrical wiring which will cause a fire he is not going to do it because I am right. And when the house is now safe I will be happy. I am not going to allow something which the other person thinks is right to happen when I know there will be catastrophic negative results. On the other hand arguing religion, politics or baseball are quite futile waste of time. Avoid these. So it is important to decide if it is mere opinion like abortion issue or if it is something dangerous where you must assert yourself.

  2. I have a question. I understand why # 5 was arguing. It comes under the same reason that guys don’t want to ask for directions. What I wonder was, why were you bothering to argue, since you undoubtedly have far better things to argue with him about (like whether bacon-flavored ice cream is a good idea, for instance)?
    Jodi

  3. I would rather be happy than right. At least out loud. I’ll let you think you’re right and so you’re happy. I KNOW I’m right, so I’m happy too. It’s a win, win.

    Also, I’m loving your question and I just added it to my future Query list (for which you will get credit where credit it due). I’m interested to see how that comes out.

  4. Bhahaha I appreciate that you are trying to teach him how to avoid arguments with women. He will look back fondly on these times.

    BTW, 8 years ago I would’ve chosen Right. Every. Single. Time. Now, after all these years in the steplife blender, I choose happy hands down. MUCH easier on my stress level!

  5. Your #5 sounds remarkably like my Mr O Jnr 2 (11). Not all that sure that teenagers stop talking, at least not by 13, that much I can assure you!

    CC is clearly a very wise man……………..

  6. My son (who is also 8) and your son have so much to learn. My husband is well-trained after 11 years of marriage. He would have stopped the conversation in its tracks by saying, “Yup, you’re right, new and improved, honey.” and we are both happy.

  7. haha you are such a great writer!! This was a hilarious to read…. I shared it with my mom. She’ll probably understand more than me, lol. She had 5 kids too!

    P.S. Your comment on my blog was very moving!!

  8. Oh, how funny. I wonder how quickly that will change for #5 when he notices girls. Right and happy are not the same for me, and I’ve had to make that choice often in almost two decades of marriage. Love you blog, JM.

  9. That kid is too smart!
    I do have to warn you though, that from my experience, he’ll probably only get smarter and more argumentative in his teens. Some days I’m tempted to barricade my teenager in his room.

  10. I’m in a similar situation, but a few years older: daughter in her twenties, stepdaughter in her twenties, and our son who just turned seventeen. I’ve recently given up trying to argue with any of them, and asked that they simply notify me if I’m ever right about anything, because I wouldn’t want to miss it. And, no, I don’t feel any happier.

    Great post. I look forward to reading more.

    1. I bet you will feel happy if they ever do notify you that you are right. I totally would. It would be hard to refrain from an “In your FACE!” moment, actually. Thanks for reading & commenting!

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