Yesterday morning CC and I were sitting at the table, improving our minds via the internets on our laptops after the kids had gone to school. This week I came across a really funny blog that I started following, and then it got picked up on Freshly Pressed. I was reading the follow-up post out loud to CC because it was totally cracking me up. I clicked back twice on my browser and Freshly Pressed refreshed.
And there was Brickie, staring up at me with his purple curlicue and really goddamn big smile.
I cracked up all over again.
Wow and thanks are all I have to say. Because really, The Good Greatsby is way funnier than me and you should read his acceptance post. I tried to commission him to write my FP follow-up post but he’s wisely put multiple layers of protection in between his greatness and everything else, and he wasn’t willing to be paid in candy, which I feel is remarkably short-sighted of him.
Y’all left me a billion comments and I think that’s way cool. I am reading them, and checking out your stuff.
#5 is our resident math genius. He assured me, when I presented him with yesterday’s statistics (even though I claimed they were “just numbers” and refused to say anything else), that I got forty times the best traffic I’ve ever had.
I would use a calculator, but the kids have broken them all. I could find one on my computer, but I believe him for two reasons:
1) One time we came home from work and saw that the kids had been outside drawing with chalk on the driveway. Upon closer inspection we discovered that it was completely covered in numbers. The powers of ten, to be precise. It’s a rather large driveway. The babysitter mentioned that while they were all outside #5 disappeared. He had finished filling in our driveway and had started in on the next door neighbor’s. He was six at this time.
2) At the beginning of this school year, I was checking all of #5’s homework every day when he finished with it. One day I paused to check the math sheet he brought me in between loads of laundry and told him that all were correct except the last one. I carried on folding clothes. He came back and said, “What’s wrong with it?” and I snipped, “It’s the wrong answer.” I went back downstairs to switch laundry again. He came into the laundry room. “But which part of it is wrong?” and I snapped, “The answer part! The answer part is wrong!” It was typical early 3rd grade stuff, adding up a series of three numbers that were in the ten thousands. Finally he came back to me and said, “I’ve added these up every way I know how and still get the same answer.” So I looked at it again, and of course he was right. Because when I did it I didn’t carry the one.
There are moments as a parent when you can’t hide your assholery, and there’s only one thing to say.
I said, “Don’t ever let me check your math homework again.”
I have to break it to him tomorrow that he’s doing our taxes this year.
JM Randolph, accidentalstepmom 
I love the idea of the driveway being covered in numbers. I love when kids get all productive and educational out of their own curiosity. There’s nothing better in my mind. 🙂
I agree. Except it was still sorta creepy. All those numbers.
Oh yes, we’ve all that experience – being *shock, horror* WRONG! If there is one thing we hate as a parent, it is being wrong! I should have perhaps explained – while I am now a stepmother of 4, I did raise 2 in an earlier life, so I have certainly experienced that. Sadly, not over maths which would have been a relief when I think about it now.
I guess, really, math isn’t such a terrible thing to be wrong about. If only it were limited to that.
Assholery. My favorite new term.
Teaching #5 to quadruple-check his work by pointing out that a correct answer was incorrect is brilliant. That’s parenting, baby.
You are totally my go-to man for parenting.
We’d better call the Numb3rs guy to come in and straighten this whole thing out. And by the way, chalk on the driveway is awesome.
I think #5 has that guy tied up in his closet. I keep hearing counting and thumping in there, but I won’t check it out. It could just be an old lunch.
What bugs me is when the kids know I’m wrong but they don’t tell me, and I only find out later that they were probably rolling their eyes in private.
Mine never, ever keep quiet about it when I’m wrong. Eeesh.
Hahahha…I suck at math, told the kids from grade one, someone else was gonna have to help them, I was not the girl for the job…luckily they have never needed me to help 🙂
That’s good. I think this one is finally figuring it out.
Oh, yes. I always forget to carry that damn one! Math. Pssbbbt.
Enjoy your FP greatness and all the traffic it brings, so exciting (but then it all goes away slowly and miserably and you start to question yourself all over again and think, how can I possibly follow up with another equally brilliant post?! the pressure, oh the pressure!!) 😉 But seriously, enjoy it!
I’m lucky in that my main purpose with this blog is to try to make my husband laugh, and he never does. So I’ve never lost my initial insecurity.
Ha! That’s good. My husband never reads my blog. He thinks blogging is right up there with facebooking: he just doesn’t “get it” and never will. Can’t say as I blame him!
One very cool thing about reading of your adventures with #3 is that I’m learning what I put Mom through.
Excellent! Glad I could help.
Hahahaha. Assholery. I know I definitely have my assholery mom moments. We are entitled to those though, right?
Hell, yeah.
i am a chinese seeking for how can we teach our kids well.it’s hard
Isn’t school work a great reminder of everything we’ve forgotten as adults?
I try to pass their questions off to CC as often as possible, because he remembers more than me, and he can always turn anything into a history lesson. Once #2 asked for new shoes at dinner and got a 20-minute lecture on the Revolutionary War.
Too funny. I am sure I would be having those moments – math is NOT my strong suit. Luckily my mom (Grandma) lives less than a mile away and is a retired math teacher. She will be checking homework! Love your blog!
Does she do Skype sessions?
Skype? Grammy may not know what that is! All I know is that my 9 year old nephew drives his parents crazy trying to do his math – Mom can look at him sideways & he does everything correctly & tries to race her to see who gets the correct answer first.
I’m not a mother but I’ve had these experiences as a nanny. The child I watched for 7 years increasingly became way smarter than I am so helping him with homework became a battle of wits, ‘didn’t they teach you ‘that’ in college? What did you learn in college? OK, I’m an idiot! Now shut up and do your homework!
Torture.
PS. Thanks for subscribing to my blog! My family doesn’t even do that.
Mine doesn’t either.
Admitting you made a mistake on his math homework is opening the door to his questioning you on all the other things parents get wrong. He’s not supposed to start thinking he’s smarter than you until he’s twelve or thirteen.
Sadly, he figured it out far too soon. I’ve failed. I may as well tell him about Santa.
Well, it’s official: yours is the only “mom” blog I will read. I realize that I just declared that like it was a big Thing when really it’s just a break from my aversion to mommyblogs. Still, I feel like this is big. I love reading your stuff. Clicking “subscribe.”
Awesome! It’s a Big Thing to me, so thanks!
You are a funny lady.
–Fellow Step-Mom