Anyone who knows me and read that just spit their coffee all over their keyboard. It’s kind of an understatement.
Before we got the kids, I bought chocolate. . . frequently.
After we got the kids, I bought it. . . more frequently. Bags of Dove milk chocolate hearts at Valentine’s Day, which I ate out in the car with the doors locked, crying on the phone to CC, asking him when his stupid show was going to stupid open so he would be home again. Dark chocolate Easter Eggs that never made it into Easter baskets. I cleaned up in the candy clearance aisles the day after a holiday with no pretense that it was all for the kids. I started making excuses to run out to the store by myself, and found good hiding places to stash bars and bags. And bags of bars.
The chocolate got darker. It got stronger and far more serious. I was looking for chocolate that bit me back.
These days, I have a bar of Green & Black’s 85% with me at all times and god help us all if that isn’t the case. It is simple, powerful, and it works. I eat it as needed, in one-inch-square pieces.
Every so often though- when I just can’t field another phone call from school, make another dinner nobody will eat, referee another fight- when I would cheerfully trade a kidney for the ability to finish a single thought without being interrupted- at those times, I need something a little bit stronger than Green & Black’s. Something that isn’t chocolate. Yesterday was one of those days.
Yesterday was a Sour Patch Kid day. I love Sour Patch Kids because they are soooo bad for you. They stick in my teeth. They make my eyes water. I eat them until my tongue hurts. Once you hit that point, you feel it for days. Also? The kids love them. They hate my dark chocolate. When I sneak Sour Patch Kids, I have the added bonus of knowing that they would want them, only I’m not sharing. Somehow it makes them even tastier.
3 thoughts on “Shock Treatment”
JuJyFruits. Same concept as the Sour Patch Kids only they don’t make your mouth hurt. If you’re smart, you don’t tell anyone you bought them. If you announce it, then eat the whole box in secret, you know you’re going to find yourself dashing to the drug store to replace them before anyone knows they’re gone. Another sign of trouble is when you’re using them as a cereal chaser. I’ve already polished off my half a box for the day …. how ’bout you?
I’m impressed that you can limit yourself to half a box a day. I licked the sour sugar out of the bag for breakfast.
My hiding place is my RN tote bag that none of the kids will go near in fear that I’ve brought something gross home from work. I hide multiple things from Reese’s Peanut Butter cups to Blow Pops in there that are my saving grace during the day after they’ve left for school or as I’m taking a “shower”.