JM Randolph – Page 68 – JM Randolph, accidentalstepmom

Was this:

This is #4 a year ago after we did the first trial run of her makeup for her school’s talent show.

One of her friends that suggested they do a version of Rock and Roll All Nite for the event. How, may you ask, did a group of fourth-grade girls come to this decision? Simple: Gene Simmons is a genius.

About two years ago, I suddenly tuned in to what #4 and #5 were singing that I’d been ignoring for several minutes.

#4 and #5: I. Wanna rockandroll all niiiiiight. And party ev-a-ree day. I.

They were six and nine at the time. I suppose I should have taken the opportunity to give an anti-drug speech, but “party” has a very different meaning to most nine year olds than it does to most teenagers. Plus, I like the band.

Me: How do you know that song?

#4 and #5: Fairly Odd Parents.

Me: Hang on.

I rifled through my CD’s and pulled out Destroyer and KISS. #5 by this time had gone off in pursuit of something shiny or else bacon, so I handed them to #4 and told her to check them out. She came back about twenty minutes later.

#4: I love this band!

If you have kids of a certain age, you probably are familiar with the cartoon Fairly Odd Parents. That May they did this heavily promoted mini series epic adventure, the Wishology Trilogy. It was all the little kids were talking about. Timmy had to do something dreadfully important in order to save himself and all of humanity and Fairyland.

Somehow, the key to the entire thing suddenly involved KISS and one of their guitars. Again, I say to you, Gene Simmons is a genius. The Big Beginning to Wishology ends with a performance by a cartoon KISS of Rock n Roll All Nite.

Back to my story. These girls decide all on their own that they’re going to do a full lip sync performance, costumes and makeup and props and the whole deal. They practiced a lot over at someone else’s house, one mom helped get outfits together, I helped find wigs and makeup, and they did all the rest. They even did their own choreography. The only thing left for the moms to do was actually apply the makeup. I think it was, to date, the most stressful thing I’ve done as a parent, not counting emergency room visits.

I only wish I had better pictures. It was awesome. See the tiny kick drum with the band logo? Sweet.

It was one of those talent shows where everybody wins, which was annoying, because they totally kicked everyone else’s ass, even if they were lip synching.

groupshot — Hula hoops? Please. We're KISS.

Yes, there are two Pauls (because there are five friends). Sadly, one of the Pauls had to move away before Halloween, when the whole thing was revisited. She was missed.

That Halloween was the only year that CC and I have both been off and able to take the kids trick-or-treating. Only #4 and #5 will still be seen with us.

That’s okay. We walked with #5 and watched as KISS hit every house, and dare I say it? They were rock stars. Great reactions from everyone who answered the door.

Shortly after Halloween, KISS played Madison Square Garden and I got to take #4 to her very first concert. The night that I scored the tickets online, she was already in bed. I went in and woke her up.

Me: Wake up. I have to tell you something.

#4: (blinks) Am I in trouble?

Me: No, I got you something! I got us something.

#4: What?

Me: KISS tickets! We’re going to see KISS in concert in six weeks.

#4: Everybody?

Me: No, just me and you.

#4: (starts crying)

Me: Oh no! I thought you’d want to go!

#4: I do! I do! These are happy tears!

I didn’t know kids had happy tears. I do now.

We didn’t do makeup for the concert, but we had a blast.

So let’s recap. From one Fairly Odd Parents episode that was viewed in my house, KISS grossed $180 for two concert tickets, $20 for the new CD, $35 for a t-shirt, and just over $125 for five KISS wigs. Nicely done, Gene. Well played.

Here’s another family Gene is leaving his mark on.

Four and a half years ago when they came to live with us, #4 looked like this:

Little, messy, cute. You can also see her in my header picture above: I’m in the Mustang with #3, #4 and #5. She’s wearing the same shirt and I’m not entirely convinced the pictures were taken the same day. I think she wore that shirt all week.

This week I turned around and saw this (and, of course, snapped a picture):

Umm, yeah.

Kids grow up. I get it. I’ve seen it happen and every parent seems shocked when it happens to their kids. But here’s the thing: I’ve watched her four siblings change too, and that didn’t surprise me.

#5 is exactly like his Dad. They both value making people laugh, bacon, and boobies. Every change in #5 brings him closer to that.

From the very beginning I could see the spark of who the three oldest girls were becoming. The opposite of an afterimage. I merely stood by and witnessed. Cool, yes, definitely. An honor.

But not exactly surprising. More like watching an image coming into focus, like on a Polaroid. You know it’s coming and it’s fun to watch the edges sharpen, the color blossom, the picture become clear.

Maybe it had to do with their ages when they came to us. Maybe it’s more about this one being the most ethereal. The one most likely to be taken by elves.

But this one, this #4.

I didn’t see it coming. Caught me totally off guard.

She had a choir concert this week, that’s the reason for the dress. I was putting her to bed that night and I told her how pretty and grown up she looked. She said, “I know, it’s crazy, right?” She then proceeded to tell me not to worry, that I would only see her dressed that way for 5th grade promotion (in a couple weeks), 8th grade promotion, her prom, and high school graduation.

I’m glad she stopped there. That was all a bit much for me. She doesn’t even wear a bra yet.