I’m JM Randolph. I am an accidental stepmom. I am also a stagehand; more specifically, I mix live sound for musical theater (yes, I get paid for that). And I write. Nothing published yet, thanks for asking. Here’s a link to my essay in the May 2013 issue of Family Circle.
In 1977 I became a writer, when at age five I wrote a gripping and moving (just ask my mother) tale about the German Shepherds that lived next door.
I became a stagehand in 1994, when I started getting enough gigs to pay my tuition without waiting tables.
I’ve been an accidental stepmom since 2006, when my boyfriend at the time got temporary emergency custody of his five children and I moved in to help out. Temporary turned permanent. We were married in 2008. I’ve always worked on my own timetable, however backwards it may be.
Being a custodial step parent is hard. Being a custodial stepmom of five whole kids is REALLY HARD. There are many helpful blogs out there that deal with how to navigate the landmines of stepparenting with grace and compassion. THIS IS NOT ONE OF THEM.
Because there’s so much hard stuff associated with being a step parent, and hard tends to get dark & depressing, I’m going to try like hell to keep this blog light. Light, yet honest. Like a good meringue. Wait, I hate meringue. Okay, like a pavlova. My husband can make a mean pavlova. Go ahead & hate.
This blog contains bits about my daily life, trying to stay relatively sane with five step kids, a husband, two puppies, and a daily commute into midtown Gotham City to the happy theater factory. Along the way I’ll include some book reviews, cause I like to read, and links to things that I like, cause I like to share the love, I’m just that way.
You can share your own love back if you want. Wait, that’s not really what I meant…
It’s high time someone embraced the virtues of half-assed step parenting. We could all use a little levity. Enjoy.
You should post your german shepherd story that would be interesting! Also, seems you are doing a job being an accidental stepmom!
I’ll have to see if I can get it away from my mother. And thanks!
Hi…Just came across your blog–the one featuring “Brickie.” Then read a few more and truly enjoyed them . Love your brand of humor…being a mother of two teenagers, plus a couple of dogs (1 still a puppy), I get where you’re coming from. Thanks for lightening my evening with a few laughs…
Thanks so much for stopping by! The puppies make the teenagers worth it, no? Hope you come back.
Nice to see a positive blog about being a stepmom. Sounds like you have a wonderfully adventurous life. Lovely blog!
Thanks so much!
I just came across your blog too. I am now the not-so-accidental stepmother of four, so I am subscribing to you as you have WAY more experience than I do!
I will be visiting for a sanity check, I am sure!
This may be the wrong place for sanity, but I’m very glad you’re here.
Just found your blog. Hang in there kiddo. You are the same age as my son who is step dad to two girls. Sounds like you are doing just fine.
Heck, I am 64 and still finding out what I want to be when I grow up.
Boookmarking your blog so I can go back and catch up.
Thanks so much- I will take all the votes of confidence I can get!
fun stuff. even if it is emergency-temporary-permanent-gaurdianship-pareta-blogging. thanks for sharing.
Thanks for stopping by!
i think what you are doing is pretty incredible. these 5 beautiful little angels are very lucky to have you <3
Thank you so much! I’m not sure they would all agree with you, but I’ll take it.
Hi, just stumbled across your blog surfing in Germany, and although I’m only mother of two kids of my own, you have my complete admiration and sympathy. I’ll try to check this out more often now. Say hi to Brickie please. We’ve got a stuffed polar bear called Poop.
POOP!!! That’s FANTASTIC! I just went to Germany for the very first time last month and absolutely loved it. There are a few posts about it under the “Interesting Places I Went” category. Thanks so much for stopping by.
haha!! nice…. your levity isn’t just refreshing, it’s your straightforwardness. Have no shame, that’s a good thing.
Glad you stopped by! Thank you.
Good Sunday! It’s Andi here, from Double Dose of Special. I just wanted to take a moment to thank you for taking the time to comment on my guest post on Our Typical Life. I appreciate that you were willing to share your thoughts with me, and that my post touched you in some small way. Please come over and visit me on my blog anytime.
http://www.doubledoseofspecial.com
Thanks! I really enjoyed both of those blogs. You’re all fantastic.
I kind of know the feeling, except I accidentally got just one. Hang in there, I’m rooting for you.
Thanks- I’m rooting for you too, big-time.
I like your blog very much and I’m subscribing! =)
Thank you!
Your blog is brilliant – and gives me a good chuckle! I’m not in your league by any means, but I am a part-time step-mum to 2 young ladies, who I refer to as “The Pink Tornadoes”… My husband and I are quiet types. The ex-wife is a hurricane… the girls bring that whirl-wind of energy with them on their visits… Instead of being uber-tumultuous it actually brings me out of my shell and it’s great fun! I don’t blog about them yet.. but they do drop some classic lines which may end up as little posts in the future.. eg. “Nelson Mandela was imprisoned on Robin Hood Island”.. (meant to be Robben Island – for anyone not familiar with South African geography/history).. Cuteness.. in pinkness.. and I’m such a tomboy…I’m working on them.. Blue is also good…
Pink Tornadoes! I love that!
I have linked you as blog of the week
Check it out Here
Thanks for being awesome!!!
Thank you so much!
You are featured in Donna’s blog (Redneck Princess) this week, so I thought I’d pop over and check you out! I like what I see, your blog is funny and interesting – it’s gotta be with 5 stepkids and 2 puppies!
I’d like to read your gripping story about the German Shepherds that lived next door when you were 5 – that would be a great post!
Nice to meet you, thanks to Donna!
So glad you came to visit! Thanks
~~What a cool Blog, Accidental Step Mom,
Can’t wait to read more…
K,
Hi Julie, sorry we havent met yet but, someday. I have to say I admire your courage and fortitude. Just reading your blog and seeing the pictures made me tired. Hope to meet you soon.
Hi Polly! Good to see you here! I’m tired too
Been reading your blog ever since it was featured in “Freshly Pressed”which was very recently- the warm-n-fuzzy “brickie” saga! I don’t claim to know you but, through your blog, I feel I have gained such a positive sense of who you are. I admire how you embrace your life holistically, and how you strive to establish a good balance. Sending you positivity, ’cause I know it can sometimes be hard to come by. Great going- with blogging and parenting!
Thanks for the kind words and good wishes!
I have been secretly reading your blog and thought I would stop stalking long enough to comment and let you know how much I enjoy your humorous look at the step-mom. I’m a step-mom too, and it can be a rough road to travel. Good thing to keep it light as you travel!
Hey, thanks for the good words, and the stalkin’!
Hey,
I really enjoy your blog! I’ve given you the Versatile Blogger Award, check out the info for it here: http://goneforawalk.wordpress.com/2011/05/11/champion-at-versatility/
Hi hun, i wanted to tell you again what a fantastic thing you are doing here. your kids are truly lucky and blessed.
your blog is absolutely hilarious and i love reading about life with your little munchkins or Child Army as I like to say
so i wanted to tell you that i have nominated you for the VERSATILE BLOGGER AWARD at my website.
Thank you for you amazing blog + art as well as your helpful comments + feedback at my blog.
http://panicmonster.com/2011/05/12/guess-who-got-an-award/
Follow the instructions from my post **if** You would like to accept the award.
Found you! Love it here! I’ve no idea what you’re going through but your journey intrigues me…. Keep up the great work!
K
Here’s to half-ass parenting!
http://lessonsinbadparenting.com/
This is refreshing! There are lot of moms in the blogosphere but this is the first time reading about a stepmom with five children. I love your site by the way, and I’ll be subscribing!
Have a great day
Mommy gem
I’m new to the blogging world… just stumbled upon yours and love it. You are so right, we all could use a little more levity and especially humor in daily life (including and most importantly laughing about ourselves). Hang in there, sanity might return once they are all out of the house
I’m very glad you stopped by! Welcome to the blogosphere. I hope you’re right about the sanity coming back. Though one might wonder if it was ever there to begin with.
i’m hooked. every story makes me smile and laugh. sometimes guffaw.
I love your joy. You’re obviously a laugher. Those kids will be forever blessed for having had you in their lives.
i just want to tell you how much i love reading your blog. as a fellow stepmom, i can totally relate to some of your stories and challenges. and i’m so happy to know that someone else out there has the same snide thoughts as i do! thanks for writing and for making me smile on a regular basis
Thanks for reading! We snidely thinking stepmoms need to stick together.
Stumbled upon your site just now.
I am hooked on your blog already! I shared it to my FB page.
I’m moving in with my boyfriend and his 2 sons at the end of the month. I’m looking forward to reading more of your blog!
JM Randolph! I’ve nominated you for The Versatile Blogger Award!
Go here to read the rules and accept your award if you so desire.
Congratulations!
Mother Hen
Mother Hen supposes it would work better if she included the link!
http://versatilebloggeraward.wordpress.com/vba-rules/
Good stuff! I will be back for more!
How is it possible that after enjoying your blog for so many months I only just now noticed that you have Neil Peart’s website on your blogroll?! I’m a huge Rush fan, so I approve.
Quick question. Did you “buy” your blog for $17 a year? Is it worth it?
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Super, refreshing take on step-parenting!
Thank you, I needed to smile today.
I have nominated your blog for the Reader Appreciation Award; thank you for your wonderful posts. http://50datesin50states.wordpress.com/
I love your summary! I gained a “bonus” daughter in marriage to add to my one and then we insanely thought it would be a good idea to have two more kids! Oy! Life is certainly an adventure these days and I love your sense of humor. Life is what it is and I bet our kids will be fairly well adjusted…. we can always hope.
Thanks for stopping by the blog. I’m glad I got to check you your writing, especially about step-parenting…I’m wading into that territory these days…good to get an honest perspective.
Pssssssssst. You’re awesome. And I’ve let the world know. http://coffeepoweredmom.wordpress.com/2012/06/07/very-inspiring-blogger-award/
Happy Saturday! I have nominated you for One Lovely Blog Award AND the Beautiful Blogger Award! http://coffeepoweredmom.wordpress.com/2012/06/23/one-lovely-blog-award-and-the-beautiful-blogger-award/
I completely understand your step-parenting role. My husband and I have 6 kids that live with us. (He has another child with another baby momma from his earlier years but that’s an entirely different story.) but the six that I am raising, 3 were his 1 was mine, and now 2 are ours. This I can honestly say is the absolute hardest job I have ever in my life had and still have. Kudos to you for doing such a great job. I no longer work outside of the home because the child care alone was killing us when we had just the 4. So once I got pregnant with #5 we had to make the decision of me staying home and him continuing to work. At times I regret it but I know it was right thing to do. I just miss the adult life and conversations. That’s why I enjoy reading your blog and some others to know I’m not alone.
This is terrific. So glad I found your blog. My long-term boyfriend has 3 little ones! It’s so hard, so fun, so unique.
I just stumbled upon your blog! I too am a step-mom and love your positive role you play! My husband and I are now expecting our first child together and I am looking forward to completing our family.
Check out my blog if you aren’t too sick of “kid stuff”
http://www.thebabydoctorswife.wordpress.com
Wow, you must have your hands full with five kiddos. I have two, and it’s enough for me. That’s fine by me if you want to keep it light! This sounds reasonable. I stumbled upon your blog through my Reader! It’s nice to meet you. – Amy
I’m an adoptive mom of 2, birth mom of 3 (and custodial parent of all five) AND a step-mom to three grown kids. I don’t know what to call myself except “Mom”. It’s a big job. I enjoy your blog even though I can’t really relate. I’m didn’t raise my 3 step-kids but I certainly am raising my five. It’s sort of weird being the “ex-wife”, the “2nd wife”, and mother, too. Sometimes, I don’t know where I belong!